#yougoodbro: Depression In Our Black Kings. Start the Conversation.

The purpose of this blog is to have a safe space where not only you, but I can share things that are heavy on our hearts. I've avoided talking about this subject for a long time because it is a very scary subject, but its something that so many of us hide from or are to scared to talk about. It's also very important to address when discussing mental health. Let's talk about Depression, but more importantly how it changes our African American males.

According to the DSM-IV, Major Depressive Disorder is defined as a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities for more than two weeks. There are two primary forms of depression which are Major depressive disorder and Persistent depressive disorder. Both of them involve severe and long lasting disturbances in emotions. Depression is not racist, homophobic, or discriminating in any way. Which means it can take over anyone's life at any time, but one group of people that it hits are African American males. I'm not saying that anyone suffers more than the next, but males in general are made to believe that the expression of emotion is foreign and maybe even forbidden. This mindset did not just happen, but over years and decades it has been instilled into their minds immediately leaving the womb. Society tends to create what we all know as social norms and this is one of those things. Men can not be emotionally vulnerable but women have every right to be. That one sentence. That one statement. That one thought is sending our men into a mental spiral that they do not know how to escape. Throughout their lifetime, they hear "Take it like a man!" an infinite amount of times. So many times, they become numb to that one sentence just like many others.

What's different about male depression in the African American community though? What is being overlooked? Why?

It all starts with slavery. During this time, in order to survive you had to be strong. Black males are typically seen as the leader of the family or the glue that can hold it all together, so of course when you are witnessing your wife and children being treated like animals you had no choice but to become strong. Men witnessed their wives being raped and tortured for years, and they had no way of expressing that hurt and pain in a healthy way because they had to be strong. The only choice was to suppress your own emotions to give comfort to those around you. This mindset was maintained post- slavery especially because African Americans face so many injustices on a daily basis. Today, our men face judgement, lack of understanding, misrepresentation, stereotypes, and the list can go on and on. They do not know how to express these feelings of hurt, embarrassment, and sadness because they believe that they have to put on a brave face. They often forget that vulnerability is one of the many things that help us to grow through all of the pain and trauma we experience in life. As humans, we typically follow the examples that are placed in front of us, so, a young black male raised in a home that swept vulnerable emotions under the rug will do the same if he does not address his problems. This cycle typically happens because the individuals raising that young man had no clue how to handle their own traumas, so does the cycle ever end? Does any healing take place?

This brings our attention the most important aspect of depression. The environment. The home. A lot of trauma takes place in environments that at on point felt safe. That feeling of security was interrupted, but the important thing about trauma is the healing that happens afterwards. If you live in an environment that avoids trauma instead of healing it, you will carry that weight for the rest of your life. That weight is heavy, and no matter how strong of a man you believe that you are...you need to receive healing from that hurting.

Topics like depression tend to make people, black families specifically, very uncomfortable. It is something about our homes not being perfectly aligned that makes us very nervous. There is a stigma associated with mental health and hesitation to receive help that is common in among African Americans. Also, accepting the trauma that you haven't faced to begin with. The African American community can have a problem with acceptance, but in order to heal you need to accept the fact that you need healing. By remaining stagnant, you allow the hurt to control you when you have the power to control it.

As a community, we can discuss the causes and line of treatment till we are blue in the face but conversations need to be started. A real sense of community needs to begin. How can we help our strong brothers to know that strength comes from vulnerability too? How can we show them that the simple act of crying can make you stronger?

First, make sure you are aware of the symptoms and signs. Which are:

• persistant sad mood or empty feeling

• Reduced or Increased appetite

• Decreased energy and fatigue

• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, shame, pessimism,

• Loss of interest and pleasure

• Thoughts of death or suicide

What can we do for them?

• Let them know Depression is not a personal weakness.

• Also, Depression has the ability to affect anyone. You are not alone!

• Getting help is a sign of strength.

• Practice compassionate listening.

• Suggest getting help.

• Most importantly, remain supportive.

It's time to start the conversations within our homes, friend groups, and every social environment we know of. It is time to let our brothers in pain know that being vulnerable is ok. Be the support they need. #yougoodbro