Dear Diary: After the Hurt.

Dear Diary,

So in light of this new aura that I am discovering, I am playing Alina Baraz’s latest album in the background. I got the candles burning and lights low. Doesn’t that just scream self care?? Seriously though, her album has this light and airy feel to it. Picture a single white feather floating in the sky. That not only describes this amazing album, but the way my heart has been feeling. The feeling that you get when you’re no longer emotionally held down. The feeling that you get when you come to a clear understanding of everything that has happened in your life. Not only understanding it, but accepting it without fear. That’s the hardest part. Accepting change, Accepting failure, Accepting flaws. That for me is where the real work is happening.

It’s like science.

We can understand why the pathology of our respiratory system or why Pluto is not a planet, but if we don’t accept it there is no change that happens in how we view it. Acceptance for me led to a change in my personal perspective on relationships, friendships, family, and MYSELF. Lack of acceptance led to lack of room to grow. I was not giving myself permission to grow. It was like I was holding a stop sign for all of the blessings and self enlightenment that wanted to enter my life.

After the hurt, you have to be gentle with yourself. Recovering from any form of hurt requires strength of course, but it requires gentleness too. There’s this strength that comes from being gentle with yourself in my opinion. Often times we find yourself being gentle with everyone around us instead of ourselves. Throughout acceptance, you have to constantly give yourself that gentle permission. I say this because this need for acceptance will never end because growth never ends. There is no set date and time in our lives for perfection to rain down on us. [ Although, perfection is all about perspective. We’ll save that for another post]

Let me make it clear that acceptance does not have to look like pretending that your trauma/ setback etc did not happen. It’s knowing that it happened but it molded me in this unique way. It planted a seed and fostered growth. It gave me the push to give myself permission. It put a shed light on insecurities that I needed to tend to. It shed light of the talents and gifts I never knew I had. It made me who I am. I guess now it’s time to start writing this new chapter in my personal journey on acceptance. I think it's going to be a good one.

, xoxo tml